Man came to the door, I say 'for whom were you lookin'?'

The art and science of door closing is soon forgotten when children move out of the house. I can open and close a door as silently as native Americans were said to be able to traipse through the woods. Closing doors is an afterthought, unimportant, and a reflex to those without small children. But, it is a much needed parenting skill. I wouldn't dare risk nap time or bedtime to the bathroom door. Am I being ridiculous? Is this one of those things that sleeping children should just become accustomed to? Has a child ever even woken up prematurely because of a door being closed in my house? (NO). But, for some reason, I shudder to actually hear wood and metal connect. Turn first, then pull, then slightly and gingerly let go of the knob, then tip toe away... (Or don't worry about it, it probably won't wake the baby anyway!)

They took Mr. Rogers off the air, and I am devastated. This is by far, the best kids show ever in a million years. The kids get up and veg for all of 30 minutes a day in front of the tube, and I sleep. I feel like stomping my feet and screaming, "It's not fair!". So, if you want to help me preserve my sanity, sleep time, and help save an American icon from floating away into memory, sign this petition, please: http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/mrrogersonnpt/

I know I am behind posting details of our lives, but hey, we're busy 'round these parts.

Ok- One quickie:

Eli (at 6 am to Ollie): Mornin' Ollie, you look funny....

and then a few minutes later:

Eli: I goin' to rock and roll camp.... (He then proceeds to play air guitar saying, "nah, nah, nah, nah."

All this when I was wallowing in my pre-coffee grumpiness...

You're gonna start to sweat, and you ain't gonna stop....

It finally happened. I drug out two children in the summer heat, me un-showered (to save the earth, of course) to WalMart. I hate WalMart, but they are really close to my house, and I needed some digital one hour prints and some vinegar, and where else can you get those two things in one trip? Literally, we had less than 4 things to buy, and Eli had a melt.down. All out screaming inconsolable blubbering mess because I wouldn't buy the big bouncy ball. We have more than plenty balls in our house already. No pun intended. Anyway, there I was at the check out lane, greasy and with screaming child. In WalMart. It is almost funny. Oh, and as I was strapping the hot, screaming child in the car I realized I forgot to pick up the prints anyway. Doh.

You're not alone any more

Do loner parents raise loner kids?

When you are a parent, all of a sudden, you can not enjoy the wondrous benefits of being a loner. Though, I am fascinated and enamored by other people, I really do enjoy doing my own thing. I never joined a sororiety or kept a large group of friends. When I went to Spain, the college kid group I was with voted me most likely to wander off and meet someone interesting. I relish wandering alone in a new city. I crave setting my own schedule, drinking coffee in silence reading, taking a long quiet walk, doing some sort of alone work, art or yoga. I don't even mind cleaning the house, cooking or running errands too much alone with my own thoughts and my own schedule.

As a parent, my "alone" time has shrunk to include only my morning commute with NPR. The kids and husband have violated almost all other aspects of life, from poop time and showering, to running errands. I must always take others into consideration now. Dinner becomes a huge production complete with screaming little people and individual demands. As a loner, a beer, popcorn and strawberries would have sufficed as a delicacy, but now plans must be much more elaborate. Even checking the mail becomes a shoe finding, but I don't want those shoes, I wanna carry the mail, Eli don't put that in a mud-puddle, y'all come on back inside now kind of ordeal. I have even joined mom groups.

One day, I will miss their companionship, observations, mishaps, and quirks tremendously, but when I do, I will also relish my loner-ness again.

You left me standing in the doorway, crying...

standing diapers + cloth diapers = messy and near bout impossible

So "they" say that standing diaper changes are beneficial for several reasons. "They" say that the child participates more in the process instead of just lying there letting the adults be in charge of the pottying phenomena, that the child is more actively involved in the process. "They" also say that this will ease the transition when it comes to potty training. I like all of these things. But, we also try to use mainly cloth diapers, and putting the two concepts together isn't really that easy. Just throwing that out there. Oh, and for your parenting pleasure, food for thought on disposable diapers:

Cut and pasted below from here:

Eighty percent of the diapering in this nation are done with disposables. That comes to 18 BILLION diapers a year. Each one has an outer layer of waterproof polypropylene and an inner layer of fluff made from wood pulp plus super-slurper sodium polyacrylate that can hold a hundred times its weight in water.
Those 18 billion diapers add up to 82,000 tons of plastic a year and 1.3 million tons of wood pulp -- 250,000 trees. After a few hours of active service these materials are trucked away, primarily to landfills, where they sit, neatly wrapped packages of excrement, entombed undegraded for several hundred years.
It is illegal in most states to dump human waste in landfills. That law is simply unenforced when it comes to diapers. Theoretically they could infest the water leaching out of the dump with bacteria and viruses (polio, hepatitis, dysentery), though that has never been known to happen. Perhaps the other ingredients in leachate are toxic enough to kill human pathogens. Perhaps the diapers are so nondegradable that they don't leak their contents.

** My note--- "They" also say that these damn things take 500 years to biodegrade. I seriously think about this every time I opt to use one. OOOHHH, and plus we bought a box this weekend for back up/ grandparent/ Evan using, and they were $30. Geez....

*** "they" are people that I have heard such things from, but that I am too lazy to search further on the internet about to back up****

I don't do sketches from memory

Lately, I have had the dreaded mom brain. This is the phenomena that takes place I've heard with motherhood and as a colleague confirmed to me today, (a mom herself) that is it scientifically proven. This is the serious case of forgetting things. We used to call them brain farts, but mom brain sounds so much more PC. Sooo, I accidentally emailed someone a long drawn out message, excited that she had contacted my about my summer business, and then the day after realized I had associated her with wrong business. D'Oh. Also, I missed a workshop on immigration at Vanderbilt that I have been looking forward to forever thinking that it was next Monday. Yet another colleague went, wondered where I was, and cleared things up for me this morning. I almost cried. I would have loved to be away from the teenagers for a day to learn more about such a fascinating topic. What I am more nervous about is that these things could come in 3s. What will I forget next?

And a conversation between O-Ray and myself:
Me: I am drawing a picture of something that wears glasses, has a beard, a moustache, wears a hat.....
Ollie: Does it wear pants?
Me: YES!
Ollie: Is it a crab?
Me: D'oh!

But my soulful mama, you know she keeps me hid

I am not the kind of mama who:
Rushes to my kid when he stumbles
Follows behind him at the play ground telling him to be careful
Jumps to dress him, feed him, do all for him
But, I am the kind of mama who:
Loves her kid and wants him to feel good
Wants him to be confident and sturdy
Wants him to know how to stand on his own two feet, button a shirt, and get right up when he falls.
I think I make other moms uncomfortable when I hesitate to help or run over or even warn my child of impending danger. I really, really am not being lazy or neglectful, and I am the first to smooch my child to death, BUT, really, I sincerely feel that giving my child space and time to figure things out is way better than doing everything for them. So there. That'll learn 'em.

One more cup of coffee for the road...

Note to self, and mama tip #2098:

STOP PUTTING THE COFFEE FILTERS BEHIND THE SIPPY CUPS!!!

This creates an avalanche of sippy cups in the wee hours when your trying to be so quiet,

or when everyone is whining and hungry and thinks they should be fed BEFORE mom makes coffee.

Yeah right.

5 AM Haiku

Mom doing yoga
While cat bites ankles, kids cry
And the week begins.

A conversation:

Evan: Ollie, what did you have for lunch today?
Ollie: I don't know.
Evan: Was it taco bake?
Ollie: I don't know.
Me: Was it pizza?
Ollie: I don't know.
Me: Was it saucy?
Ollie: I don't know.
Evan: Was it crunchy?
Ollie: I DON'T KNOW.
Me: Let's play 20 questions, and you tell us when we are getting warm.
Ollie: Is it warm in summer and fall?
Us: Yes.
Ollie: Can you wear shorts when it's warm?
Us: Yes.
Ollie: Is it warm in the car?
Me: If the heater is on, yes.
Ollie: Is it warm in a truck?
Me: If the heater is on, yes.
Ollie: Is it warm in a van?
Me: If the heater is on, yes.
Ollie: Is it warm in a house?
Me: If the heater is on, yes.
Ollie: Is it warm in a restaurant?
Me: If the heater is on, yes.
Ollie: Is that 20 questions about warm?
(Continue dialogue for several hours straight, and welcome to 4!)

'Cause band-aid's stuck on me....

What is it with kids and band-aids? They hold this magic over kids that is unexplainable. Ollie got a little poke from a stick at school this week that his teacher put a band-aid on. This was the tiniest of scratches and he gingerly carried around his hand for a day not daring to get it wet in the bath tub or wash his hands. When we finally did make him get it wet, he had to have another one though I could have used a magnifying glass to find the scratch. He even asked as we entered the barber shop for a pre-Christmas mop chopping last night if it was a "band-aid-taking-off-shop." He seemed content when I assured him it was not, yet he did tell the stylist all about the band-aid, and he never talks to strangers. I once knew a girl whose parents used band-aids as a reward system, I think for pottying. Her mother laughed about people's public reaction to a youngster with so many injuries. Any parent could have spotted a band-aid junkie. Hey, maybe I should try wearing one the next time I am feeling blue. Maybe they ARE magic.

The Turkey's getting fat

And I am pondering consumerism and my footprint. How WILL my Christmas gifts affect the planet? How do I balance a single income household with environmentalism, caring for my friends and family, and being a responsible earth citizen? Why is plastic crap from China soo cheap? How do I bring joy to my family and friends without feeling guilty about our purchases? Oh my. Target and TJMax were packed today with thrifty shoppers. But who needs the crap you find there?

I come from a family where the motto is the more the better. Definitely quantity is better than quality, and I am starting to rethink those traditions. Ollie, at 3 is talking about getting tons of gifts from Santa, and I ponder our impact and pocket book. How do you balance Santa, the environment, Christ, and the Spirit of giving? I feel stuck in a conundrum of the holidays

PS. I have found kitty footprints on the edge of the toilet. And we let it mellow when yellow. Blech. Don't kiss the cat!

O's Quote of the day

"Will you still love me if I break something?"

I got very, very serious got right at his eye level and had a discussion about unconditional love.

Parents are the best. No matter what, our children are a part of us. From toddler to teenager to adult, our children become our lives. What an incredible relationship.

Here's thinking of you Lulu.

Missing music

Is something that pains me, yet is an inevitable by product of aging, mothering, working full time, and having one adult member of the family in college. I remember a time when we would go to a show with nickles in our pockets, hope to get tickets when we arrived, and gave little thought to frivolities like food or sleeping arrangements. Once, I pawned our microwave before heading out of town with no intention of buying it back. Oh how times have changed, and I have passed on several things in the past couple of weeks, that I would have liked to see. Like Blues Traveler, Robert Earl Keen, Mothers Acting Up (I know, not music, but money none the less), and the Americana awards.

On a positive note, we ARE going to Birmingham on Wednesday night to see my new favorite, Bright Eyes. Some things are worth the sacrifice.

A shout out to my mamas

In the beginning, I hated the computer and viewed time spent on it a waste, as much as watching TV. I couldn’t fathom spending time on one, communicating with people. I thought it was, well just nerdy. And then, I got really, really pregnant, and was under doctor’s orders to be on bed rest. I had never in my life experienced such down time, wherein I didn’t feel deathly ill. So, I ventured to try a chat group that the patchouli smelling leader of my child birthing class mentioned in class. That was 4 years ago, and I still check the mama board almost everyday. I saw a couple of the gals yesterday, and I was reminded how much their companionship and advice has meant to me as a mom. I appreciate so much that Angela has hosted this forum gracefully and peacefully with an amazing sense of humor and kindness. I love Sybil and Sara’s quick quips and am in awe of their 3 baby families, Karen’s generosity and time strapping in babies and Kim’s talent amazes me. I stand in awe of Rowena and Chelle’s artistry. I am humbled by Angel’s thoughtfulness, and inspired by Paige and Emily’s leadership and world changing actions. One day, I hope to be as accepting as Wendielu, as perceptive as Wendy, and I have never thought that evil Wendy really is evil, but instead see you as an ocean of wisdom. I am proud to know my favorite Cubana, the lovely and talented Brenda, and honest and sincere Cheeto. Heather has been a tremendous influence in the way I view children, and my role as a teacher, and Ginger’s perseverance and steadfastness have left me with a strong impression. Adrienne always fills my tummy and Diane makes me feel comfortable to curse. All of the mamas’ generosity astounds me. Your insistence on taking care of one another, and of the world as a whole truly restores hope in human decency and kindness. Thank you for your constant encouragement and endless opinions, prayers, and counsel. I am thrilled to see you all whenever I get a chance, and I can’t tell you how much each one have you have meant to me over the past years. You have helped make this adventure of motherhood so much smoother. I love you all. Even if your name wasn’t mentioned above, rest assured, I am eternally grateful for you.

Sick of Sick

The news report stands:

Eli has been to the doctor's office 4 times in the past month. One pink eye, one ear infection, one vomiting at school episode, and one fever. Ollie has been running a fever since Tuesday, and has been to the doctor once. I have missed school twice, Evan went to school one day last week, and we have been worried sick over children who have had a slight fever for what seems like forever. They are superficially sick. Just a little under the weather keeps everybody out of school. And, I am sick of it. God help us when flu season actually hits.

The Cheese

A couple of years ago, Caleb, my nephew had a birthday party at ChuckyCheese. Ollie must have been 6 months old or so (or either 18 months, I can't remember, but not old enough to enjoy it). Anyway, we looked around dazed at all the lights and confused by the sounds and visions of little squirts super-charged on sugar and pizza with pockets full of gold coins. It was surreal, and I remember both Evan and I escaping as soon as possible shaking our heads in dismay and vowing to never go back to the Sin City for tots. But with so many things in parenthood, we ate our words, and took Ollie, now 3 1/2 back to that place. He was invited to a birthday party with some friends from his school. The boys had a blast (pictured above), I have to admit that I tossed a of couple skee-balls , and I love seeing O-Ray be social. I hear they have pizza, soda, coin specials, and maybe it isn't SUCH a bad place for a rainy day pick-me-up or for a no-mess-in-my-own-house kinda party. As we left, we did release a collective breathe of fresh air as the cloud of over stimulation lifted.

The great clothing switch

So I finally did it. A chore that I put off until the Velcro won't stay closed anymore on the shorts, and finding the belly is as easy as you please. For some reason, changing out the kids clothes seems to be such a chore. Elijah was still wearing 6-12 month clothes due to my reluctance to change out. In the bottom of his drawers were crumpled up pieces of clothes that we couldn't even pretend fit. The whole ordeal took no more than an hour, yet it is the last chore on the to-do list always that involves emptying every drawer, a trip or two to the attic, and a pile that comes out of the laundry. One of the many benefits of having 2 kids of the same gender, is that we already have tons of stuff for the little one to wear. I got to oh and ah in reminiscence at some of Ollie's ole faves. (I'm saving the 6-12 monthers on the chance that E2 has a boy this time (and I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that one)).

No Bath Fridays

Rule!! If you've never tried this, I highly recommend it. It is such a joy at the end of a long week to realize one part of the routine isn't necessary. The boys enjoy it, too. Sometimes we do in fact rinse off, or like this week, we had bath Friday, and no bath Saturday instead because they were disgusting. We usually change sheets on the weekend anyway, so no worries of bed-bugs.

We have been out of town, or had guests the past 3 weekends in a row, and this weekend was joyfully uneventful. We bought bikes and a trailer (not for that much), and had a long bike ride. Evan is going to start biking to school, since we live so close. Anywho, life chugs on in the Boro, I can smell fall coming, and I have no bath Friday to look forward to next week so it will feel like we are off the hamster wheel for even a couple of minutes.

Rubber duckies mold and other random observations

I had no idea that rubber duckies, though loveable and iconic, are also disposable at our house. We love them, but as soon as I can see black through the yellow, in the trash they go.

I love silly putty and play with it as if an addict. I won't let the kids touch it. They aren't responsible enough for it, plus it might be chalked full of chemicals and weird stuff. But, me, oh, my, sweet, sweet, putty.

ELI IS WALKING!! There, I have been meaning to post that for 2 weeks or so, and haven't had time.

Everybody is back at school. Ollie LOVES his, and I am happy with his teacher and program. Though, not Montessori, as I would have liked, the program does help prepare him for Kindergarten. Eli is eating, sleeping, and not crying in his class, and I suppose that means he likes it just fine. Neither of the boys have ever done "day care" and this is a huge step for us. I am mostly uncomfortable with the idea, but tend to rationalize and look on the bright side as all work-out-of-the-home moms must do. Evan seems to be digging his classes. He's almost done!!

The entire clan of in-laws is coming for labor day, so I am sure to have stories to tell after Monday, so stay tuned!

I know I owe all my adoring fans a few pictures, and will get to that soon.